The Softer Sides of Campbell Alexander
by musikgurl
Summary: See the heart of the man with the backwards name...
1. Anna's Death

**Note: I do not own 'My Sister's Keeper' **

_**I know this is short but it's just so I can get on to the next bit**_

"I remember the first time I saw you Anna Fitzgerald," I say as I feel myself begin to laugh. "I thought you'd come to sell Girl Scout cookies!"

I look at her pale body; cold, small, limp, lifeless.

"I never got a chance to thank you. I thought I'd have time to be able to do something really special for you..."

I know I'm babbling, but I can't find the right words to use. I never thought I'd have to go through this so soon.

"Before you came along, my life was a pointless routine of emptiness. I was living a world full of lies and no meaning. But you brought me back. You helped me open up, find myself, find love. And not just with Julia."

I grab her hand and squeeze it as if it will somehow bring her back.

"You were going to be amazing," I say feeling myself break down. "You were amazing. You reminded me of myself, but you were so much more. You were witty, smart, kind, painful, immature, and irrational. You were beautiful. You could save anyone."

I stand up, still holding her hand and kiss it.

"Thank you Anna, for saving me."


	2. 2010

I parked the car and before I had a chance to say anything, she was off. I called after her, but she didn't hear me. I went after her and found her with the person I had come to see.

"Campbell," said Brian Fitzgerald, holding his hand out for me to shake.

"Brian, it's been a long time."

"It sure has..." With the hand that didn't shake mine, he is holding her's. "Who's this?"

I reach out and she grabs my hand. I look in her eyes and see them sparkle, like I often saw yours do.

"This is my daughter," I tell him. He seems pleasantly surprised and she beems up at him.

"Her name's Anna."

People always talk about moving on after a hardship, but I don't believe it. I mean, do we ever really forget? We still have memories that can haunt you, or help you. When I came home from the hospital that evening, I felt as if I was hollow. I opened the door and chucked my keys on the table and stood there. Julia went to make a tea, but she seemed as if it was just something to stop her thinking of you. I sat on the couch and saw the file I used during your caught case. I open it, and right on top I find a note from you saying, _Imagine if Dr. Neaux married Mr Guts. I don't know why we're teasing all these people because of their surnames, when you're the one with a backwards name! _

I stare at the note and before I know it I'm crying and Julia comes and holds me and we cry together, and I hadn't even noticed that Judge was lying next to my feet, whining sadly.

I hope you knew what you meant to me. I mean, when you were still here, I never felt like I needed to tell you. But when you left, I started to regret, not spending more time with you, because I had wanted to. I had a lot of regrets. But more than anything, I regretted taking you on as a client, because even though you saved my life, because of me, you had no life. And if I'd never met you, I'd never have to face the pain of missing you. It took me a long time to stop feeling guilty and when I finally realised I was falling deep; Julia said to me, "Anna wouldn't have blamed you. She cared about you too." And I saw the light and I came back. I married Julia in the summer of 2005. On the day of our wedding, staring out at a small sea of people, I felt as if the jigsaw puzzle of my life was complete. Except for one piece. I didn't realise until I saw the four Fitzgerald's sitting together, with an empty chair next to Kate, that the missing piece was you.

You would never believe this but on the 31st of December 2006 at 6.41pm, I became a father. She was so small, so fragile, yet so perfect. And I knew the minute I saw her that I was going to love her. Julia and I hadn't discussed names yet, we did the whole "When we see them, we'll know," and we did. Julia and I never tried for more children. I don't know why. If it was because we forgot or just didn't want any more, I'll never know. But I think subconsciously, we only had one child, so that it would never, ever feel unloved, or invisible like you did.

She has your coloured hair and your eyes. I know it's genetically impossible, but she does. You would have loved her. You could have looked after her while Julia and I went out for dinner. And talked about boys and sex because god-forbid, I'm not! You could have taught her how to play hockey, to not do math homework and get away with it, to be brave. You were always braver than I ever could, ever will be. I tell Anna stories about you all the time and she laughs and smiles. And one day when she came back from day-care, she showed me a picture. It said _When I grow up I wanna be like... _

_Anna. _If my daughter grows up to be anything like you, I'll count myself the luckiest father in the world.


End file.
